tekan sini!

Saturday, July 7, 2012

From a mother to a brokenhearted girl

Assalamualaikum w.b.t,

Hye hensemhensem and cantikcantik sekalian! Hihi. (suke la tu kene puji. Habis kembang semangkuk. Haha). Just want to share something i read at fb. Ade sorang gadis ni (she is in my friend list dalam fb). She is  having a hard time with her love story. Quite a time da this thing jadi. Tapi baru nak share. Oke, take a look at the status yang die update kat facebook. Sedih weyh. Sedih. Uuuu. Serious ni sedih :(
Don’t ever give up if you still want to try. Don’t ever wipe your tears if you still want to cry. Don’t ever settle for an answer if you still want to know. Don’t ever say you don’t love him if you can’t let him go. 
How can I forget you when you’re always on my mind? How can I not want you when you’re all I want inside? How can I let you go when I can’t see us apart? How can I not love you when you control my heart?

I’m not saying there wasn’t anything wrong, I just didn’t think you’d ever get tired of me. I’m not saying we never had the right to hold on. I just didn’t wanna let it get away from me.

When I said “go”, I wasn't pushing you away but setting you free. When I said “enough”, I haven't given up, I just needed a break. When I said “goodbye”, I didn't mean farewell. But what could I do? You were gone before I could say “come back”.

You said you didn’t want to see me get hurt. Does that mean you closed your eyes when I cried?

Days continue to pass, stars continue to shine. Why do I have tears in my eyes today when he was never mine?

There are only two things I regret doing. Loving the guy who didn’t love me and forgetting the one who did.

When I saw you with her, I told myself, “So what?” When I saw you holding her hand, I told myself, "I don’t care!” When I saw you playing with her hair, I said, “Whatever!” Who am I kidding? All those things you were doing to her until now, I'm still missing.

It hurts so much to know that I have fallen for someone who would just leave me hanging in the air. Why? Cause I closed my eyes from the reality that you never really loved me, you just cared.

Do you recall the day I met you, the day I said hello, the day I held your hand, hugged you and kissed you? Do you remember the day I broke your heart? I bet you don’t cause it was you who broke mine.

Lord, let me accept the fact that this is the farthest that I can get, the closest I could be and the clearest that I shall see and that no matter what I do, I can never make him love me too.

Everyone tells me to give up on you but they don’t see you like I do. You are the one who broke my heart, you’re the reason my world fell apart, you’re the one who made me cry yet I still love you and I don’t know why.

You broke my heart but still, I took the pain. You pushed me away but still, I waited until I went insane. I damn cried but you just looked away. I told you I love you but still you didn’t stay

Why do I want you back? Why can’t I hate you? Why can’t I let go of your memories? Why do I find it hard to forget you? So many why’s but the most unanswered why is why do I still love you even after you’ve said goodbye?

It hurts to see the one I love move on while I can’t even let go. It hurts to see the one I love happy while I can’t even smile. There’s nothing I could say nor I can do. I guess if you’re happy then I’m happy for you.
I was willing to give you everything I had, I was willing to love you completely and I was willing to fight for you. But still, I had to let you go cause even though I was willing to do everything for you, you weren’t.

What do you think of me, a damn fool who wouldn’t mind getting hurt? I’m human and I can feel pain. Think of what you do cause I have feelings too. Please don’t show me you’re loving someone new.

I’m down on my knees praying that you’ll love him better than I did, down on my knees begging the Lord to tell you to take care of him. I loved that guy so much I hope you will too. Cause to tell you honestly, we broke up because he’s very in love with you.

Stupid. I know I am, it’s true. Stupid to fall for someone who can’t love me too. Stupid. I am, I don’t know what to do. Stupid! Stupid! That’s what I am to few. It’s sad to know that I’m stupid because of you.

I remember the moment when you asked me to let you go, you were slowly fading away. I asked, “Wasn’t my love good enough?” Then you turned around and said, “No, it was too much.”

People say that I have loved you my best. They say that my best was more than enough than what I could have offered and given you. I proved to the world how I sincerely love you, I proved to them how much I really do. The only thing is I failed to prove it to you.

Maybe it’s time for me to stop thinking of you, maybe it's time for me to stop waiting for nothing, maybe it's time for me to stop holding on. Why? Because I know you already stopped loving me long before it ended.

I don’t know why I'm so afraid to lose you when you’re not even mine. I don’t know why I care for you when you don’t even love me. I don’t know why you’re the one when I'm just nobody to you

Sometimes I wish I'm different. Sometimes I wish I'm more than what I am right now. You know why? Cause maybe if that happens, the person I love will learn to like me, to care for me, to love me. I just wish you would.

You're so far away yet right in my heart. I don't understand it, why are we apart? I love you more than you will know but I guess it's not meant to be. I just don't understand it, why can't you love me?

I wish I can tell you I love you just to let you know I care, just to let you know I’ll always be there. I love you so much, you see? I guess that’s why it hurts to know how much you love her, not me.

If loving means being loved then I do not love enough. If loving means being special then I have barely loved. But if loving means getting hurt then I love too much.

My friends are finally happy that I have experienced how it is to love but I’m not. Why? Cause when I finally learned to love, my heart chose the one who couldn’t love me back.

You said you loved me but you lied. You said you wouldn't hurt me but you did. I said I loved you, I did and still do. I said I wouldn't hurt you, I didn't. So why did you?

Here I am, standing next to you, loving you the best way I can, giving you everything that I could. On the other hand, I stand close crying cause I got no clue on what I am to you.

When you accused me of not loving you, a silent tear fell from my eyes, the pain was too much I can’t help but cry. Cause if only you looked hard to see, loving you meant everything to me.

I love you till the day I die, I love you till I breakdown and cry, I love you till I prove what’s damn true, that no one’s ever gonna love you like the way I do.

One day, I will be able to look at you in the eye without feeling the pain I’ve caused. One day, I will be able to stand next to you without wanting to hold your hand. One day, I’ll get over you. I’m sorry to say this, though, but that day will never come true.

I still remember that day you kissed me then walked away. You told me you have to go, you told me you can't stay. I was hurt so bad, I cried all night. What's the sense of living without you by my side?

I want to say I love you, I want to say I care, I want to hold you in my arms and just keep you there, I want to make you happy and I want to make you smile. But will she ever lend you to me, even just for a while?

They say there is a reason, they say that time will heal. But neither time nor reason can change the way I feel. No one knows the heartache that hides behind my smile. No one knows how many times I've broken down and cried. I want to tell you something so there won't be any doubt. You're so wonderful to think of but so hard to live without.

How come you have enough time to go out and make other girls fall in love with you but you don't have enough time to pay attention to the girl who already does?

I'll never forget the times we once shared and I'll never forget how much you once cared. Now that it's over, I have one more thing to say. If I had a four-leaf clover, I'd wish for one more day.

I'm not supposed to love you, I'm not supposed to care, I'm not supposed to live my life wishing you were there, I'm not supposed to wonder where you are or what you do and I'm not supposed to say this but I'm still in love with you.

Forget the times he walked by. Forget the times he made you cry. Forget the times he spoke your name. Remember now, you're not the same. Forget the times he held your hand. Forget the sweet things if you can. Forget the times and don't pretend. Remember now, he's just your friend

I'll have another chance, I'll find another guy, I'll see another day and I'll build another world. I'll find another life just like you told me to. I'll find another love but there will never be another you.

Sedih kan? Seriously i can feel her. Satu mase dahulu (takdela dahulu sangat. Almost setahun yang dulu. He broke my heart. To a ziliion pieces. Rase tu sakit sangat. Sakit yang. Makan pun tak, study pun tak, borak ngan kawan pun tak. I just stayed in my room, dalam comforter. And cried all day long. Hari hari.) Oke. Ape cite pasal saye plak ni. Balik ke cerite gadis ni balik. Lepas die post this status. Her mom suddenly comment dekat comment box. Come and take a look :

Life is always fair. God is going to give you someone so much better than him. Have faith and trust in God. He doesnt deserve you, You deserve someone so much better than him. He is your first love and of course, the pain will take longer to heal. 
In life, you are bound to kiss a few toads before you actually meet your wonderrful prince. He is there. Million times better than the one that left you. Just remember, its not your loss, its his loss.

Time will not heal it, it would make it even better. You would be more discerning and more wary of the boys you will meet which means your selection process becomes of a higher standard. Take your time to find the right one. Dont rush it, you have a whole lifetime. In the meantime, enjoy yourself and show to him how much you are better off without him. Thats the sweetest revenge you can give to the guy that hurts you.

Take it from me. I know. I am your mother.

Those words adelah words yang mak die bagi kat this lovely girl. Which is absolutely right. Dearest brokenhearted girl. Its true. It is not your loss. It his loss. Untuk hilang a girl yang truly love him, yang would do anything for him, yang nak kawen dengan die and grow old with him. Let him be. One day, he will realize how stupid he is untuk hilang someone who truly love him. And on that time, u will smile, and shine, and be happy with another guy and its too late. And you will promise to yourself to not turn back to him. Because. He was the one, once, broke your heart, without even consider what u felt for him. So that time, when he wants you back. You will definitely not even considered his feeling anymore. Beause why? Because you will have the one yang love and appreciate you, just asmuch as u do. Bukan macam laki tu. Be strong!

In the meantime, enjoy yourself and show to him how much you are better off without him. Thats the sweetest revenge you can give to the guy that hurts you.

Ps: Her mom sangat cool kan? Hee :)